It's simple love and be loved. However, the task of giving and receiving is not easy, either because they tend sometimes to have some fear of love or because we think it's a feeling I understood work and itself.
But why sometimes we fled the experience of love secretly sabotaging say that both yearn?
1. When the caging fear love
According to psychologist Lisa Firestone, the problem lies because we tend to be oblivious to both the origin and the destination of our actions, since most answers unconscious motivations.
That is why, remain mired in eternal question of why we fail to build positive and stable relations, when the answer is in the "commitment" both sure it will deposit aimed at achieving the opposite.
2. Hold an idealized image of the beloved
Carrying a preconceived image full of ostentatious qualities and great virtues , It is indicative of a perspective very misguided love because if we go to the idealized image retention establish distances and encourage putting differences against our partner and pretending to be "Victims" of a reality that is not what we expect.
3. Get stuck into the emotional experience
Usually it activated when you have negative loving memories.
Commonly it occurs during enamoramiento, where it manifests as a warning voice that fills us fatalistic thoughts and warnings to refuse to love.
Having these thoughts will only bring misery and suffering leads us to adopt a defensive posture, depriving freely express what we feel.
4. Criticizing excessive
With the negative criticism unconsciously we sabotaged our relationship trying to see it as a problem rather than looking for solutions.
Destructive criticism differ essentially constructive criticism because the latter seek to contribute to the growth and welfare of the couple.
Criticizing excessive, on the other hand, It is a method of autosabotaje which it aims to place ourselves in a position where it is easy to distort our feelings and the other person, victimize or make us go through the member relationship "always sacrificed".
Learn to identify the unconscious behaviors that potentially threaten the dynamics of our relationships are the key to understanding why our love life seems to go against what we strive to build apparently.
In this way, may develop mechanisms that allow us link our actions to our emotional couple of ghosts.