Who has not felt hurt at some point? Is the age you've all gone through that emotional pain. But most important is how you face these wounds so they do not impede moving forward.
No use blaming others for our pain even may even be counterproductive. The problem of blaming others is that, often, You can leave you without power. For example, you face that person (your boss, your spouse, your parents, your son…), and they say: “No, I did not do it", or worse, "What if I did?"", then you will accumulate anger, pain and no resolution.
All your feelings are legitimate. But complaints constantly accumulating a bad habit, because it hurts you more than it hurts them.
People who cling to these wounds of the past, often, relive the pain over and over again. Sometimes, a person can even get to feel "stuck" in this pain for a long time.
How to heal the wounds of the past?
To heal those painful wounds have to accept a new joy and happiness in your life, and make room for it. But, if your heart is full of pain, How can you be open to anything new?
1.- Make the decision to let him go.
As things do not go away by themselves, You have a commitment to "let go". If you are not aware of making this choice you could end up making self-sabotage any effort to let this pain of the past.
2.- Express your pain and your responsibility.
There are many ways to express the pain that consumes you, either directly by telling the person who hurt you, talking to friends, writing it in daily, etc. This will help you understand what your pain is.
What you will do differently next time?
Are you going to let your pain becomes your identity?
Or are you someone deeper and more complex than that?
3- Stop being a victim and blaming others.
What you could win making you the victim? You may feel good for a moment, but does not care much people. Focus so you need to get over yourself.
Yes, you are special.
Yes, your feelings are important. But your feelings are just part of this great thing we call life, which it is complex and messy.
You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put so much power in the hands of someone else.
Why let the person who hurt you in the past have such power?
4.- Focus on the present (the here and now) and joy.
You can not undo the past, all you can do, It is to make today the best day of your life.
When you focus on the here and now, You have less time to think about the past.
Remember, if we press our brains and lives with feelings of pain, there is little room for something positive.
But often we can not forget the bad behavior of someone else's good for us to learn to forgive.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. On the other hand, It is simply to say: "You did something that hurt me. But I want to move forward in my life and feel the joy back into it. I can not do that completely until you let go of the pain ".
And forgive yourself It can be an important part of this step, as well as, Sometimes, We can get to blame ourselves for the situation or damage.
If you can not forgive yourself, How will you be able to live in peace and happiness in the future?