Unfortunately human relationships are plagued tamper. Most of them occur unconsciously. We learn without realizing it and reproduce equally. Two of these manipulative mechanisms, which severely damaged personal ties, They are blackmail and coercion.
The manipulation, in psychological terms, It is defined as a mechanism through which a person achieves another says or does something, you using for this traps, ruses or deception. Identifies situations where it is used to others, or they become an instrument for achieving a personal goal. On many occasions he deliberately manipulated, as when a political distorts their purposes to vote for him. In others, especially in private life, manipulation is unconscious or semi-conscious.
""I know who have been educated from handling, the control, blackmail, falsehood, intimidation and violence. The paradox is that educators believe victims"".
How do you exert blackmail or coercion without realizing it? When you adopt a position of victim, For example. So you manage the other acts depending on the fault and not his free conscience. It also occurs when you desvalorizas someone to follow depending on you. Or when you take advantage of the weakness of the other to put to your service in a way.
Psychological blackmail: an emotional ballast
Psychological or emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation and, for the same, an act violent. It is implemented to gain control over the behavior of another person and also about their feelings. Like everything blackmail, It involves a scheme in which it deters other to do or not do something, based on a negative consequence. It is something like "Do, but you suffer for it ", or "Do not do it, but the result can be disastrous ".
Psychological blackmail prevents a person to act autonomously and freedom. That handles the blackmailer. Will very present all that will bring the other to assume a certain behavior or not. Victim wants his act as he wants, not as personal beliefs dictate other.
There are two pillars on which rest most emotional blackmail. One is at fault and the other is insecurity. It is intended to convince the other that their actions or decisions are free, In fact, proof of evil. Or that cause serious damage. Thus it is achieved that others behave as the blackmailer wants. "Go to your party ... One day no longer be in this world and there they will regret not having spent more time with me".
Insecurity is a trait that makes it quite manipulable to anyone. Simply the blackmailer Emphasize errors, defects or risks to other, for the latter to act as a meek lamb. "When you realize that you have no idea that, me you want and I'll help you fix it ".
coercion, between the raw and the subtle
Not only on coercion methods are implemented for a person to do what someone else wants, but in this case it seeks to do something that goes against what you want. Coercion involves more violent behaviors blackmail, but also it has subtle facets. Anyway, coercion implies a relationship of power and abuse.
No coercion in direct or veiled threats. It uses the fear of others, or their vulnerability against something. The figures often use power to handle those under their sphere of influence. In this case the victim is aware of being manipulated, but it feels prevented from reacting. It may be because the other is stronger and threatened with physical violence, or because it has higher status and can cause serious damage.
While in the usual emotional blackmail is that someone who exercises is dear, the constraint is not necessarily so. It comes not so much of a loved one, but one to be feared. The victim does not realize they have the resources to resist this form of manipulation, but leaves placed in the position of someone defenseless against arbitrariness.
Both blackmail and coercion are true cancers of interpersonal relationships. All you get is to falsify or cancel the feelings people. the perpetrator may be temporarily away with it, but, sooner or later, effect will be subject boomerang. Handlers often end up trapped in their own network.